Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
