mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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