Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
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We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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