New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
