i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
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using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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