butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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