she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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