Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
