I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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