Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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