i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
