dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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