I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
