im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
