Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize