The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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