You smell like a Billy Joel song
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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