if i can run in heels then i can drive
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
a search helicopter?!
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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