I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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