She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
