She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
