yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
