I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize