Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
