bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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