There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
soo... how was my night?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
