I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
