The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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