I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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