just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
