have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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