HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
