She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I have aggressive nipples.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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