My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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