when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
