I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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