Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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