New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
