Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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