Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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