And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
