Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
