I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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