I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
accomplished twins. life is a go
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
