He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize