Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
