Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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