Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I think I died a long time ago.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
