if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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