I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
