I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
