yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
