did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
