carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
