And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
