I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
