Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
