Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
