It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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