Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
...so i touched it.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
