Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
