At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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