How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Randomize
