Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
