grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
