you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The feeling are messing with the penis
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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