went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
