well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
